‘No’ seems like a very easy word to say. It is after all just a little word with two letters. So why is it so very difficult to say at times?

Many women have a difficult time saying no, without feeling that pain of guilt that goes along with the word. Is it because you don’t want to admit to your boss that you don’t have the resources to complete a task assignment or is it because you are afraid you’ll hurt people’s feelings?

I found a book, My Answer Is NO...If That's Okay with You, where author Dr. Nanette Gartrell takes a look at why even the most powerful, accomplished, and successful women find it difficult to say no. I’ve not yet read the book, so I can only reference what I’ve read on the website.

Her website states the following: Today women are bombarded with messages like "put yourself first" and "stop being a people-pleaser." But this sort of advice is useless to women who value the caring and generosity that prompt them to say yes in the first place. Through personal interviews with a diverse group of talented women, including CEOs, celebrities, physicians, and public officials, Dr. Gartrell shows that women's reluctance to say no stems from valuable traits that they should embrace, such as empathy, sensitivity, and thoughtfulness.

Dr. Gartrell says it is women’s need to feel connected and compassionate, which often leads them to say 'yes' rather than 'no' in order to preserve a relationship or spare someone's feelings. She suggests that saying ‘no’ with confidence means that you must budget your ‘yeses.’ She advises setting boundaries and limits on your time so that you can be there when the people in the relationships that mean the most to you need you.

I think I’ll pick this book up as one of the door prizes for the upcoming Women in Nuclear conference. I always try and find books that women will find helpful in the balancing act that we call life and I think this book might just fit that bill.

How do you say no? Share your strategies by leaving a comment on the blog.